Letting Go, While Being Followed...

By Jenny Taitz, Ph.D.

Do you have a minute for the environment? Can I ask you a few questions about your hair? Do you like comedy? Spare change?

In a single morning, 3 people have approached me on busy corners in the midst of the morning rush. To be honest, I find it tempting to look away or pick up my pace. When I encountered the first greeter, I picked up my cadence and was then followed for several feet with inquiries on my hair and by my own shame. I wonder if it would be possible to frame interruptions as moments to:

1. Engender Compassion: For a moment, I begin to imagine how I would feel trying to attract attention in the midst of traffic and unpleasant weather. It can be difficult to be mindful of individuals’ circumstances. A person passing you a menu on the corner has dreams, pains, family members who are ill…


2. Let go of Judgments: Judgments often fuel negative emotions and letting go of thoughts related to how unfair or annoying interruptions are may be instrumental in maintaining equanimity.


3. Relax: Relaxing one’s expression also eases one’s experience. Have you ever tried half smiling? Releasing facial tension in your forehead and raising your upper lips ever so slightly (picture the Mona Lisa or Buddha) often changes your mood. This concept probably sounds too good to be true and like a pitch you heard on your commute. Give it a try.

Have a minute to let go?

(Photo provided courtesy of Andy Cross)

Urban Mindfulness on ABC News Now!

Submitted by Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D.

Hi folks!  Here is the interview with ABC News Now:  UM on ABC.  I hope that it interests some people in learning more about mindfulness.  Also, I want to thank Jeffrey, Melanie, and Stephanie for their support today!   Enjoy!

ABC News Now

Submitted by Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D.

Hi folks!  I'll be appearing on the show "Now You Know" on ABC News Now tomorrow morning live from 10:06 - 10:13 EST.  Tune in on-line and you can learn more about mindfulness, my forthcoming book, and mindful living in the city.

New Feature: Reviews!

Submitted by Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D.

Given my personal and professional interest in mindfulness and meditation, I often get asked the question, "Where should I go to learn how to meditate?"  And, my answer is always the same, "It depends."  There are so many factors to be considered (e.g., personal preferences, prior experience with meditation, religiosity, etc.) that it is impossible to select the #1 meditation venue for everyone.  It's a matter of fit:  some meditation centers will be more suitable for some people than others.  For example, maybe you want a lot of didactic instruction and time for questions.  Or, conversely, maybe you prefer silence.  Fortunately, because there are so many centers available (in NYC and elsewhere), there is sure to be a place for you.

So, to help our readers navigate the confusing (and sometimes intimidating) world of meditation centers, we are proud to announce a whole new section of our site:  Reviews! This summer, our intrepid intern, Ms. Alyssa Barba, visited as many centers as she could and wrote descriptive summaries of her experiences.  Rather than being evaluative, these reviews objectively describe the setting, instruction, and other factors, in order to help each of our readers find the most personally suited place to begin learning meditation.  New reviews will be posted on the page each week, so be sure to check it regularly.  We are launching our new feature with a review of the Chakrasambara Buddhist Center.

When you find a place to visit, be sure to tell them that UrbanMindfulness.org sent you.  Also, don't forget that we provide free meditation handouts in our Resources page.

Thanks for the Noise, Neighbor!

By Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D.

In my soon-to-be-released book, I address the application of mindfulness to many of our common experiences in the city.  One of the more common and vexing problems is the noisy neighbor.  Maybe it's the woman downstairs who practices the guitar.  Or, it could be the couple upstairs who lets their toddlers do somersaults off the couch.  Or, maybe the man in the adjacent apartment has really loud sex.  Whatever the particulars, we can easily find that our efforts to relax or get some sleep are rudely interrupted.  While it's natural to get angry and frustrated, we can also use these disruptions as opportunities for mindfulness practice.

• Notice how quickly your mind tries to explain what you’re hearing. You might hear a low scraping sound, and assume that the neighbor is moving the sofa. Appreciate this quality of mind, which tries to label whatever we experience.

• Take a moment to appreciate the noise within the context of all that you can hear around you. Closing your eyes, become aware of the different sources of sound and their physical location. See if you can allow all of these sounds to arise within your awareness. Like listening to an orchestra or band, allow yourself to experience all of the music together, rather than fixating on a particular sound.

• Notice what judgments arise about your neighbor(s) in response to what you hear. Upon hearing loud music, you might think that the neighbor is being disrespectful and inconsiderate, which prompts you to feel angry. When hearing a loud argument, you might feel sad for your neighbor’s difficulties. Notice how your emotions react to the particular thoughts that you’re having, not necessarily the noise itself.

• Acknowledging that your assumptions about your neighbor and what is causing the noise might be inaccurate, approach them openly and with curiosity about what’s happening to cause the noise. Explain what you’re hearing and the impact that it is having in your home. You might even invite them inside your place to experience it themselves. While not mindfulness per se, this approach allows you to apply some of its underlying principles--respect, compassion, and acceptance--and try to embody the resultant emotional equanimity.

• If you’re unable to reach a compromise or mutually beneficial arrangement with your neighbor, then consider your options of how to respond constructively and objectively. Know that a bitter, vindictive, or vengeful response, likely will hurt you as well. Even if you’re able to get back at your neighbor “once and for all”, the time spent nursing that resentment and anger undermined YOUR heath, not theirs.