To Move Mindfully, Get Out of the Way

By Emily Polak, Ph.D.

I recently attended a 5 Rhythms class, a movement meditation practice in which one moves the body though dance in order to still the mind and connect to the spiritual.  A friend recently discovered this practice and found it transformative, so I thought I’d give it a shot.  After all, I enjoy dancing and am all for practices that quiet the constant chatter in my head.

I entered the room and was immediately impressed by the apparent lack of self-consciousness exhibited by the 25 or so people moving around the dance studio on a Sunday morning in the West Village.  As someone who has always been inclined toward both self-awareness and self-consciousness, letting go of my inhibitions is a real challenge for me.

At first, I danced tentatively, mostly watching the men and women of all shapes and sizes moving in way that seemed, well, liberated. Living in a city where it is common for people look and behave in every way imaginable, one might think you’d get used to all the diversity and stop noticing it.  Yet the people in motion in this room exuded a buoyant, carefree energy, an unusual occurrence in a city filled with too many stressors to count.

As the class went on, there were times when I was able to embrace the music and movement.  But my ability to stay in that place was fleeting.  I felt acutely aware of my desire to maintain the experience of flow with the music, to attain that joyful, lighthearted mindset of my dance counterparts.  It was the desire to achieve that state that prevented me from allowing it to happen.

Can you think of any instances in your life where you get in your own way?  If so, how might mindfulness help you to stop undermining yourself and your goals?

Meditate NYC Event is next week!

Submitted by Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D.

Next Saturday, October 16th, is the annual MeditateNYC event here in the city.  It's a nice opportunity to experience different kinds of Buddhist meditation firsthand and learn about their spiritual traditions.  It's like one-stop shopping (never mind the "spiritual materialism")!  The event runs from noon - 4 pm at the Judson Memorial Church near NYU.  If you go, please sure to drop us a line and share your experience!

Photo is provided courtesy of Akiva Daube.

Speak Your Mind or Mind Your Speak?: 3 Steps Towards Mindful Speech

By Jenny Taitz, Ph.D.

The ability to speak makes us human and inhuman.  You said it, it just came out so fast, and now you are kicking yourself (or being kicked by someone else!)

As I write a note in a greeting card, I begin to think about how the deliberate attention required in writing a card differs from quick, whatever comes to mind, spontaneous speech that surges through our mouths.  I am not suggesting that we ponder intensely before talking.  However, as social beings in big cities, we run into people, share social networks, and have countless opportunities and venues, including the internet, to say whatever comes to mind.  Have you found yourself spreading gossip?  In a bad mood and saying something you don’t mean?  Sharing more than you ordinarily would to fill the quiet?  It can be difficult to listen to yourself in the midst of a fast paced conversation.  It may be useful to spend a moment bringing to mind a recent conversation faux pas.  It may be a time where you may have said more than you intended or spoken about someone in your life in a manner that does reflect your values.  Rather than beating yourself up, let’s try to learn from our oversights.   What were some of the aspects that got you stuck?  Did strong emotions play a role? Did you have sufficient time to think?

1. Be mindful of your intention.  What are your values?  One’s values are subjective.  Some people may prioritize honesty while others may prioritize loving kindness.  When your significant other is late, is it meaningful to be entirely truthful about your feelings or assume the person is doing the best he or she can?  Of course there is no single truth.  I notice at times my desire to be entertaining may conflict with my aspiration of not speaking disparagingly about others.  Unfortunately, the route I generally take may not be the same direction I’d take if I really considered which goal is more meaningful to me.


2. Pick a reasonable time frame.  We speak endlessly. Setting a reasonable time frame, 9 am-10 am, for instance, will likely lead to more opportunity for success than deciding from now on, no more angry speech!  Is there a time frame you’d like to be nonjudgmentally aware of your present speech? A certain event you that you want to fill with attention such as a conversation with a family member?


3. Mindfully attend.  Once you set your intention and time, similar to other mindfulness practices, the mind (and mouth) can be expected to wander.  We often make certain interesting decisions.  Eating one cookie means your diet is over for the night? Not if you want to develop a sense of mastery! So too one slip of the tongue may be a juncture where your recommit, rather than abandon ship.

Every Moment

By Emily Polak, Ph.D.

I have been a student of mindfulness in one form or another for about 10 years. In that time, one thing I have learned is that the opportunity to practice mindfulness is present in every moment of every day.

Eating a meal? Be present as you take each bite, make an effort to taste every flavor.

Taking a shower? Feel the water on your skin, notice any sensations that arise.

Waiting for the bus? Breathe and observe your experience.

And so it goes with writing for a blog. Here I am right now, breathing and writing. I think (or perhaps, my mind thinks), “Is this interesting? Useful? Maybe even insightful?” I recognize the urge to judge what I have written. I notice this and return to my breath.

What are some activities in your everyday life in which you attempt to be mindful? Can you think of one new activity to which you can apply mindfulness today?

With 100% Certainty...

By Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D.

Recently, I started biking to work.  I've enjoyed the breeze and view as I bike over the Manhattan Bridge (especially at night), and it allows me to experience the city in a whole new way.  While I miss sharing the subway ride with my fellow New Yorkers, I do appreciate the sights and smells of the various neighborhoods--Chinatown, the Bowery, Union Square--through which I pedal.  For the past couple days however, I left my bike at home due to predictions of rain.  (At present, I haven't developed the fortitude (or inclination) to be biking in thunderstorms.)

Before I left home each morning, the sky looked overcast, but it was not raining.  The news assured me that it would be raining "morning, noon, and night," so I decided to refill my MTA pass and travel underground.  At work, I waited for the rain.  And, it did rain:  a little bit of drizzle off and on.  And, when I returned home each night, the sky was clear and the ground was relatively dry.  As such, I realized that I could have biked to work in relative comfort both days.  As I pondered my decision to ignore my immediate sensory experience of the weather in favor of others' predictions, I was reminded of something that I discuss with patients who suffer from anxiety and worry.

From the perspective of cognitive therapy, worry is characterized by a demand for certainty in ambiguous situations.  Specifically, we want to know what will happen in the future.  And, because we don't really know what will happen, we become anxious.  In clinically significant circumstances, it can get to the point where we're imagining quite catastrophic results.  Part of cognitive therapy involves developing a tolerance of this uncertainty, while learning how to consider the future in terms of probabilities, not guaranteed outcomes.

So, what is guaranteed?  Maxims tell us that nothing is guaranteed, or that change is the only constant.  Indeed, these are true as we look towards the future.  However, the present moment--as it is happening right now--is immune to these considerations.  That's right:  the present is 100% certain.  If you're looking for certainty, you'll find it nowhere except now.  My immediate experience is undeniably real.  If my knee is itchy, it is itchy.  If I'm thinking about my book, then my thoughts are focused on my book.  If I'm judging someone as being rude, then my critical mind is active.  If I'm anxious about the future, then I'm worrying now.  Will these aspects of my experience be present in five minutes?  I don't know.  These examples show how mindfulness can illuminate the world as it exists, and potentially provide some relief for those of us who cannot tolerate ambiguity.

So, the next time that I consider whether or not to bike to work, I'll consider both the weather that I see (e.g., cloudy) and the current predictions (e.g., showers), and make a decision that honors both of my experiences.  And, if I do decide to bike, maybe I'll just toss a poncho into my bag...