What's in Waiting?

By Jennifer Egert, Ph.D.

There is lots of waiting in city life. Waiting on line at the grocery, waiting for the train, waiting for a table to free up, waiting for the light to turn green. And then there are bigger waits. Waiting for the weekend to start. Waiting for vacation to begin. Waiting for a new birth, or word of a new job or new business opportunity. Waiting for test results. Waiting for that all important letter or phone call.

I’ve been feeling like I am waiting a lot these days... in a holding pattern. A bunch of potential decisions, news, possible changes on the horizon but not quite there yet. It seems like everything is about getting to that “next step” rather than being with what is here right now. So it makes me wonder, what is happening during all that waiting? Is there something to learn, so see in the waiting? You’d think so, right?

The other day, while I was waiting yet again… I decided to Google Mary Oliver Quotes. Mary Oliver is a beautiful poet with a clearly mindful presence whose words often help me in a variety of moments. I came across this gem:

"Instructions for living a life.

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it."

-Mary Oliver

This stopped me for a moment, forced me to pay attention and ask the question, "what is astounding me at this moment?" I realized that despite the whirlwind of major life events and the related waiting for some end results, somehow, for a brief moment yesterday, just calm. I was at peace and very, very present. Something let go and allowed the uncertainty to just swirl around a centered, quiet core. I was astonished by that. I was grateful for it too.

So, the last step as per Mary Oliver's instructions: "Tell about it." So here I am... telling about it. I also put Oliver's words out to some friends who in turn shared their moments of astonishment in recent days. Astonishment of their kids swimming abilities, astonishment of people's acts of kindness, of generosity of bravery and humility and communality. All of this life going on while I had been caught up in waiting.

Yes, there is a lot in waiting. Perhaps more than in getting to the destination. We just need to pay a little more attention.

Planes, Trains, & Waiting

By Jenny Taitz, Ph.D.

Present moment waiting may sound paradoxical but it doesn’t have to be.

Reporting live from JFK:

I woke up at 3 am for a 6 am flight that was delayed until 8am.  I could perseverate on my lost sleep, fatigue, shoulder pain, etc. or I can just accept, here I am.  Initially, this is challenging, after all, it is 5 am! I take a seat and think about times I’ve spent waiting in train stations, terminals, and traffic.

Generally, while waiting, we are pulled to compulsively check our watches, double check the accuracy of the time with our phones, let our minds run. What if we just take a moment to breathe and enjoy the respite? Here we are, no where to go.

After sitting for some time, I look at pages of magazines and browse the bestsellers table in the book store.   Time seems to move when I’m not trying to force it or adding judgment (e.g., I shouldn’t have to wait).  I decide 6:30 am is as good a time as any to buy a piece of chocolate and genuinely savor each bite.  Previously, I had considered rushing and waiting to be equally nefarious.  Now, I wonder if I have to wait, why not just be where I am?