Pretty

By Emily Polak, Ph.D.

Yesterday I was late to meet a friend for lunch because I was not happy with my outfit. Every time I leave my apartment, I want to feel cute, attractive, pretty.

I recently came across a spoken word piece by a woman named Katie Makkai that resonated on many levels. It begins with her as a girl asking her mother, "Will I be pretty?"  She references “women who will prowl 30 stores in 6 malls to find the perfect cocktail dress but haven’t a clue where to find fulfillment or how to wear joy.”

She makes a powerful point. Joy lies only in the present moment. And while it can be empowering to feel good about how one looks, fulfillment does not come from the right outfit or accessory. The constant struggle to feel attractive is well, pretty depressing.

She ends by telling her future daughter, “The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be. You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing, but you will never be merely pretty.”

So next time you find yourself stressing about whether you look good enough, stop and check in. Notice your self-judgments and attempt to be a bit kinder to yourself. Be mindful of all the ways you’re pretty amazing beyond how you look today.