Sunday
Dec132009
City Folk, Mindfully Relating
Sunday, December 13, 2009 at 10:51PM
By Jennifer Egert, Ph.D.
Ironic how in the most populated city in the US, the ability to be isolated, unconnected and anonymous is unprecedented. We are constantly surrounded by people. Perhaps this is why we turn off, turn inward, shut out the millions of lives that are around us. In some ways, it is kind of necessary. How can you take in all the activity and personalities of everyone around you? Who would want to? There is also the issue of safety, of course. But sometimes, our automatic ways of moving through city life in our little cocoons interferes with really being present, and present with those around us. In the end, we can miss out on a lot.
This idea hit home recently. A co-worker suddenly passed away. It was unexpected. He was young. We were all shocked. At the memorial service, I learned so much about him that I never knew after years of seeing him at the hospital daily. It really got me thinking about how I relate in my day to day life with the people around me. Rushing here and there, with blinders on. It feels like an intrusion when someone stops me in the street to ask a question. I just want to keep moving. Noticing this, I decided to try to pay more attention to moments that present opportunities to connect. Here are some experiences:
◦Spent a nice cab ride with a driver from Egypt whose son was starting school at John Jay for forensics. He gave me a bag of salted pumpkin seeds that his wife brought back from Egypt which were delicious! He also shared a very warm smile and good wishes.
◦An older man waiting for the bus on 10th Avenue asked me about my camera (I was shooting while I waited). We sat together on the bus and I learned that he was a photographer and photographing Coney Island for the past two years. The project is being shown very soon in NJ. We talked printing, photoshop, and lightroom.
◦Paying attention to others on the 1 train the other night, I noticed how many others were making an effort to be mindful. One woman was reading her bible. Another person was going through a strand of Buddhist prayer beads. Another man sat quietly and still with his eyes closed. Each of them helped a more mindful sense of being on the train, a real support.
Simple experiences of opening to others. Nothing earth shattering. Just sharing city life with the city’s greatest asset: the people.
Question for the week: How can I connect to my fellow city-folk a little more, in a safe, and present way?
Ironic how in the most populated city in the US, the ability to be isolated, unconnected and anonymous is unprecedented. We are constantly surrounded by people. Perhaps this is why we turn off, turn inward, shut out the millions of lives that are around us. In some ways, it is kind of necessary. How can you take in all the activity and personalities of everyone around you? Who would want to? There is also the issue of safety, of course. But sometimes, our automatic ways of moving through city life in our little cocoons interferes with really being present, and present with those around us. In the end, we can miss out on a lot.
This idea hit home recently. A co-worker suddenly passed away. It was unexpected. He was young. We were all shocked. At the memorial service, I learned so much about him that I never knew after years of seeing him at the hospital daily. It really got me thinking about how I relate in my day to day life with the people around me. Rushing here and there, with blinders on. It feels like an intrusion when someone stops me in the street to ask a question. I just want to keep moving. Noticing this, I decided to try to pay more attention to moments that present opportunities to connect. Here are some experiences:◦Spent a nice cab ride with a driver from Egypt whose son was starting school at John Jay for forensics. He gave me a bag of salted pumpkin seeds that his wife brought back from Egypt which were delicious! He also shared a very warm smile and good wishes.
◦An older man waiting for the bus on 10th Avenue asked me about my camera (I was shooting while I waited). We sat together on the bus and I learned that he was a photographer and photographing Coney Island for the past two years. The project is being shown very soon in NJ. We talked printing, photoshop, and lightroom.
◦Paying attention to others on the 1 train the other night, I noticed how many others were making an effort to be mindful. One woman was reading her bible. Another person was going through a strand of Buddhist prayer beads. Another man sat quietly and still with his eyes closed. Each of them helped a more mindful sense of being on the train, a real support.
Simple experiences of opening to others. Nothing earth shattering. Just sharing city life with the city’s greatest asset: the people.
Question for the week: How can I connect to my fellow city-folk a little more, in a safe, and present way?
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