Urban Mindfulness - Finding Peace in the Middle of It All » Non-striving

Planes, Trains, & Waiting

admin — Mon, 31 May 2010 01:12:30 +0000

By Jenny Taitz, Ph.D.

Present moment waiting may sound paradoxical but it doesn’t have to be.

Reporting live from JFK:

I woke up at 3 am for a 6 am flight that was delayed until 8am. I could perseverate on my lost sleep, fatigue, shoulder pain, etc. or I can just accept, here I am. Initially, this is challenging, after all, it is 5 am! I take a seat and think about times I’ve spent waiting in train stations, terminals, and traffic.

Generally, while waiting, we are pulled to compulsively check our watches, double check the accuracy of the time with our phones, let our minds run. What if we just take a moment to breathe and enjoy the respite? Here we are, no where to go.

After sitting for some time, I look at pages of magazines and browse the bestsellers table in the book store. Time seems to move when I’m not trying to force it or adding judgment (e.g., I shouldn’t have to wait). I decide 6:30 am is as good a time as any to buy a piece of chocolate and genuinely savor each bite. Previously, I had considered rushing and waiting to be equally nefarious. Now, I wonder if I have to wait, why not just be where I am?

What Henry David Thoreau would say about cell phones

admin — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:43:05 +0000

By Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D.

My introduction to mindfulness came from reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau when I was in high school. His musings on leading a simple life in the present moment really resonated with me. Recently, I was re-reading Thoreau’s classic book, and I came across a passage that reminded me of how we have become addicted to our cell phones, PDA’s, Blackberries, and iPhones. Whether walking down the street, riding the elevator, or sitting in a waiting room, we’re often seen face-down, immersed in checking our messages. While communicating with others is desirable, it often distracts us unnecessarily from being present. Who hasn’t had the experience of “having nothing to do”, then starting to fiddle with the phone as opposed to simply breathing or noticing what’s happening in the moment? What’s so uncomfortable about spending a few moments just “being”? Anyway, here’s the quote (sorry if it’s a little judgmental):

“In proportion as our inward life fails, we go more constantly and desperately to the post office. You may depend on it, that the poor fellow who walks away with the greatest number of letters, proud of his extensive correspondence, has not heard form himself this long while.”

Henry David Thoreau, Walden (p. 366), New York: Bantam Books

Replace “post office” with “inbox” and “letters” with “e-mail”, and you have apt observation on current urban society!

So, next time, when you feel the urge to check your messages or e-mail–even though you checked a few moments ago–just take a breath and ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now?”

Financial crisis & mindfulness: 4 tips for dealing with the recession

admin — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:39:42 +0000

By Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D.

Here in the city, anxiety about the financial crisis is palpable and omnipresent. Thousands of people, especially within the financial services industry, have been losing their jobs. Real estate construction and development have slowed or ceased, while home sales plummet. Retail businesses and restaurants have been doing poorly too as many of us cope with a decrease in income by reducing our spending.

How can mindfulness help?

Mindfulness can help by reducing our suffering in a very painful situation. The financial crisis has a negative effect on our home finances, savings, and fulfillment of some life dreams (at least temporarily). This is our current reality–and it hurts. Unfortunately, we often make this bad situation worse as we become mired in regret, fantasy, and worry. “If only I sold my stocks 6 months ago…” or “I’m never gonna get another job” are common reactions to the crisis. However, emotionally such thoughts make us feel worse. So here are a few mindfulness pointers:

Notice where your mind goes. Are you stuck in regret or blaming others? Are you catastrophizing about the future?

Find ways to reconnect with positive aspects in your life, like your health, family, or faith. Often, we dismiss expressing such appreciations by adding “Yes, but…” The “but” takes away any joy or satisfaction from things that are going well. Real life is good and bad, not good but bad.

Re-evaluate and do constructive planning and problem-solving. Mindfulness can help us see what is really happening and deal with it appropriately. Not being able to pay the bills might be a reality for you. So, minus the worry, anxiety, and recrimination, what are your options? How can you increase the money coming in and reduce the money going out?

Finally, notice your mindset now vs. 6 months ago. Chances are, you saw your life as being deficient at that time, too. You wanted more money, an iPhone, or whatever. You told yourself, “If only I had [X], I would be happy.” Now, we are confronted with reality of having less than we did previously; our mindset matches actually matches our circumstances. In fact, we might even find ourselves longing for how good we had it before, at least financially. At the time though, we weren’t satisfied with it. This irony suggests that we need to recognize the problem in dwelling on thoughts that we’re deficient or need something that we do not have. Not until we recognize and accept our current circumstances can we be free to change it.