Yesterday, the New York Times ran a front page article on how technology can serve as a distraction, and potentially decrease our ability to pay attention at other times.  Check out the article here:  NY Times on Techno-Distraction.

Its a very interesting article, and particularly ironic to be published on the same day that Apple announces a multitasking feature for the next iPhone.  However, like most devices or technology, the problem lies not in its existence, but rather how we use it.  Despite popular belief to the contrary, we can use our gadgets mindfully.  In fact, there are even phone applications for the practice of meditation and mindfulness.  Personally, I try to do one thing at a time, which isn’t always easy.  If I’m writing an article (or blog post), then I strive to finish it before I start checking e-mail, returning phone calls, etc.  Often, I can feel the urge to abandon what I’m doing in order to refresh my inbox or do some research on a seemingly vital topic that I just invented.  Like the thoughts and feelings that arise during meditation, distractions come frequently during everyday life.  If we’re not careful, we can end up mindlessly flowing from one activity to the next.  In order to realize (and correct) this process, you might want to keep a record of what you’re doing hourly during the day.  You’ll likely be surprised with the results.

Last week, I went to one of Sharon Salzberg’s talks here in NYC.  I always enjoy learning from her, and I was particularly struck by a phrase that she used when discussing mindfulness:

“It’s not about what happens, but rather our relationship to it.”

So, in other words, it’s not about the fact that the bus crowded, but rather how we relate to that reality (i.e., what judgments and critical statements might rattle around in our heads).  Similarly, it’s not about the fact that it’s raining right now, but rather how we feel about the rain in that moment.  Through the practice of mindfulness, we cultivate the ability to notice our reactions and judgments, which creates some emotional space.  We find a way to feel better by giving-up on wanting it to be otherwise.  It prompts us to accept an unchangeable reality or take some appropriate action.  So, if it’s crowded, I can decide to focus on listening to my music or meditate or observe something special about each person around me.  If it’s raining, I can decide to wait until it stops or take an umbrella or consider the rain in a different way.  All of these other possibilities can be realized in the present moment, once we have the presence of mind to do so.

New Yorkers have had a very scary and stressful week. On a prematurely summer-like, Saturday night in May, Faisal Shahzad deposited a car bomb in the middle of Times Square. The cliched “Crossroads of the World” became the unwanted arena of another spectacle of attempted urban terrorism. Fortunately, no one was hurt or killed, but an entire city held its collective breath while waiting to see just how serious a threat this smoking car was to the safety of New Yorkers.

How do we learn to live in a city that is a prime target for such attacks? How do we apply mindfulness practices to help us cope with terrorism? Ever since the attack on the World Trade Center, I have been asking myself these questions. My experience tells me that mindfulness is a concept that is closely related to resiliency skills building. Resiliency involves cultivating flexibility, multiple perspectives, humor, and the discipline of staying in the present. All of these skills are crucial to mindful living.

When I heard about the car bomb in Times Square, my immediate response was panic. But I remembered to keep breathing and stay focused on this very second. I listened to the news and asked myself, “What would be the most effective action to take right now?” I figured out that the best thing for me to do was to wait and see and trust that those with a great deal more knowledge and information would do what needed to be done.

After 9/11, I worked as a counselor at Ground Zero. On this past Sunday, I decided that if there was a need for the services of counselors I would volunteer. Most importantly, focusing on what I could do to help served to calm me and empower me with the knowledge that I could “do something.”

Mindful resilience enables you to see yourself not as a victim, but as someone who has agency–even if this agency is solely about staying with your breathing in the moment. Feeling a vicitim is what is most disabling and feeds anxiety and fearfulness.

In the face of such danger, New Yorkers came together and pulled through. Gotham is a place of great resiliency and fortitude. Let us stay mindful and grateful for our good fortune this time.

“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” –Mark Twain

Thought for the week: What stories do I tell myself about my life or who I am? Can I begin to loosen my grip around some of these stories that cover up an unlived life?

Can spin class also be a practice in present, non judgmental awareness?

Cardiovascular activity has been found to be nearly as effective as antidepressant medication in treating both depression and anxiety.   In major cities, gyms and yoga studios are often replete with attractive, fit, seemingly perfect people.   While walking on the treadmill, it can be tempting to begin to think, “Why can’t I look like him? Why doesn’t my significant other look like that? How is she so thin? I wish I could find a job. What should I buy for dinner?  I can’t believe I can’t stand on my head after all these years…”  Catch my drift?

Exercise may be an opportunity to simultaneously practice discipline with your mind and body.   While trying to take care of your body, it can be worthwhile to check in with your mind.  Reviewing your recent tax filing while in down dog will not help you increase your rebate!

The gym may provide you with an opportunity to let go of comparing yourself to others, quit your unpaid position as a model scout,  and take a mental break from the tasks on your to do lists.  I’m guessing this may supercharge the antidepressant effect of exercise.  Imagine a full 30 minutes free of the thoughts and judgments.  Alternatively, you may fill your mind by listening to music, focusing on your breathing, attending to your muscles and physical sensations. 

It may be helpful to:

1. Come up with a plan: If you notice you’re having a tough day, commit to letting go of the office when you change into your gym clothes.
2. Attend fully to the moment: What are you doing?  Are you on mile 1 and thinking 2 miles to go?  Return to just where you are. 
3. Let go of judgments:  We are often drawn to judge ourselves and others (“I hate this song!”) It may be worthwhile to experiment with nonjudgmental curiosity.
4. Keep trying:  You can’t train for a triathlon in a week, so too, you cannot expect your mind to quiet immediately.   It’s been working so hard to keep you thinking and will automatically turn to thoughts.  That’s ok, but can you try again to hear the music?

So, are you ready to spin those legs and stop that mind?

The “winter of our discontent” has finally ended. The sun is out and the world is suddenly filled with light. We have weathered months of heavy snow falls and deluge like rainstorms. At times, we could have used sleds to transport us or even an ark to float us above the rising flood waters brought about by the torrential rains. We have been living in a climate of such extremes. I have been wondering if the earth has been reflecting back to us the extremism of the age in which we live. Our culture polarizes everything- black and white thinking and no shades of grey. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the violence here at home with right wing extremists and urban gangs, and the lack of civility in Congress all amount to a continuous reinforcing of the idea that “might makes right.” There seems to be little room for measured tones or moderation.

Spring is the season for taking time to do the proverbial “smelling of the flowers.” All around us is an abundance of color and life. This is welcome excess. Unlike the harshness of winter with its howling winds and blinding snows, we are now in a more gentle season. If we stay mindful of all the beauty that surrounds us we will be able to carve out a middle way between the extremes of winter and spring. The natural world has much to teach us in the way of harmony and balance. Walk around your neighborhood and take in the way nature has provided us with the warmth of the sun, the flowers, and the magnificence of the trees in bloom.

Most of all, to find a middle way, in these difficult times, open your eyes to the inter-relationship of all life. The way through the extremes is the path of gratitude.  Let us celebrate this season of rebirth!

“The unknown takes us out of our comfort zone.”

From What About The Big Stuff?, Richard Carlson, Ph.D. Hyperion, 2002, p.20.

Whatever change that either happens to us or we willingly undertake always has an element of fear. We love our habits of being. Even taking a shower at a different time of the day has the potential of upsetting our routinized life. Change wakes us up to living in the fullness of the moment. Staying mindful of how we enslave ourselves to old ways of being and doing is the challenge. Nothing stands still, no matter how we delude ourselves into thinking that we have the power to make it otherwise.

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Quote by unknown author

How often do our thoughts create our reality? You can see it in so many ways, whether it be pre-conceived notions of a social situation, an influence from a comment from a friend or colleague, or a mood that strikes early and unfolds as the day goes on. As this quote suggests, simply watching our inner lives can have consequences for the cascade of life experiences that follow.

I’ve been feeling pretty shell-shocked lately. There’s a lot happening in my life and the city. Budget problems and economic woes dominate the headlines: MTA is facing a serious budget shortfall, Mayor Bloomberg wants to withhold annual rebate checks for homeowners, and companies are laying off workers daily. The stock market has been going up and down so often that it reminds me of a hyperactive toddler on moon bounce. On top of these stressors, it is also the holiday season.

Last year around this time, I spent a lot of time thinking about holiday cards while embroiled in gift-buying angst. What do I buy for whom? How much should I spend? What’s the “perfect” gift?

This year, I have found that my mind has been dominated by thoughts on limiting expenses and working within a budget. When I see something that looks like it would make a nice present, then “It’s too expensive” quickly comes to mind. It indeed might be “too expensive,” but I haven’t considered it yet in any thoughtful way.

While I might be preoccupied with the economy and presents, others might be distracted by thoughts of spending time with difficult family members or worried about work’s “Secret Santa” exchange. Of course, our holiday-related thoughts aren’t always negative. We might be excited by having a few days of vacation or hosting a joyous celebration with family and friends. Regardless of whether we’re thinking “negative” or “positive” thoughts about the holiday, we’re still stuck in our heads. Thinking, considering, excitedly planning, philosophizing, wondering, worrying–it doesn’t matter. All of the stuff “up there,” can remove us from the world “down here” where we live.

So, what to do? How can we practice mindfulness during the holiday season in the city? Well, here are a few tips that I’ve found to be helpful personally.

Return to your senses for information about your surroundings. Many places have put up holiday ornaments or lights, which are a distinct departure from the norm. Some can be quite pretty, too. It doesn’t have to be something as grand as the tree at Rockefeller Center. Pretty lights and displays can be found all around us. Even the electric menorah at your dry cleaners might be pretty in some ways. Why not take a more serious look? Some restaurants and cafes have seasonal foods. Try a gingerbread muffin, and allow yourself a few moments to revel in its taste. Nice? When you pass a Christmas tree seller on the street, take a few moments to smell the pine. When was the last time the aroma of pine wafted through NYC streets?

Make an effort to spend more time with friends and family either on the phone or in person. Rather than searching stores for presents or trawling the internet, talk with someone who is on your list. Learn more about them and what’s been happening in their life. By being present in such a conversation, you might naturally discover what would be a nice present for him or her. However, having a heart-to-heart chat demonstrates more care and love than an expensive present anyway. Also, the whole point of getting someone a present is to show how much they matter to you. Maybe you can express this sentiment directly through a deep talk or a card. Consider what would matter more to you: a “perfect” present sent from someone who you haven’t been close to lately or more time actually spent with that person. For me, it’s been a relief to realize that I’m rich with friends and family, regardless of the economy. As such, it is more important for us to spend time together rather than spending money on each other.

Continue (or start) your meditation practice. Meditation has been shown scientifically to have substantial health benefits. Often, it can provide a sense of groundedness and peace as well. So, be sure to continue your practice during the holiday season. Or, if you haven’t tried meditation recently (or ever), read some of the UM handouts and give it a try tonight. I’ve also recommended some books in the UM Amazon store, which you might want to consider for yourself or someone you love.

Do something seasonal. There are many events and things to do around the city. You can volunteer at a local relief shelter, visit Santa, or attend a Hanukkah celebration at your local synagogue. Check with TimeOut NYC or re-visit some of organizations that are important to you. Typically, there will be some seasonal offerings. Even Buddhist sanghas appreciate the importance of the holiday season. For example, this weekend, the Shambala Center of NYC is hosting a Winter Solstice celebration for families in celebration of Children’s Day. Take a peek at what’s out there and enjoy!

Be mindful of your breathing. Bring it back to basics: our breath is always here. We can always become aware of our in-breath and out-breath as a way to anchor our mind in the present moment. I particularly like using the breath as a focus of mindfulness because it is omnipresent and inconspicuous. You have to breathe, even if it’s holiday time in the city.

Leaving a subway stop earlier today in midtown, I noticed a line of people standing still on the stairs. Initially, I thought that these people waiting to exit the station, and in fact some departing subway passengers went straight to the end of the line. However, the exit seemed clear, so I kept going up the steps and emerged outside.

Soon, I realized that these people were waiting in line for something. The line snaked around the corner, so I wasn’t sure what that “something” might be. A few possibilities ran through my mind: celebrity sighting, free crepes, or the chance to be an extra on “Law and Order.” As I rounded the corner, I saw that people were waiting for a clothing store to open. In the window, a sign indicated that the store would open at 9 a.m. for the “launch date” of a familiar-sounding clothing designer.

My first reaction? To glance at my watch and consider whether or not I had enough time to wait in line for the store opening. Did I know this designer? No. Did I know what a “launch date” is? No. Did I need new clothes? No. Did I even like the clothes that I saw through the store window? No. Yet, my automatic programming was to check to see if I could wait 40 minutes in order to attend the “launch date”. This process occurred almost instantly, without any conscious awareness or reflection. While it only took a few moments of my time, it profoundly demonstrated what has happened to me as I live in a hectic, “consume”-oriented environment.

Here in New York, we are constantly bombarded by information competing for our attention. Much of it can prompt us to think and react in particular ways, like my experience at the clothing store. Any one instance is not particularly earth-shattering or distressing. Yet, over time, we can feel a little like the ball in a pinball machine as we get bounced around mentally from place to place. We notice something, then react, then we notice something else and react, and so on. (Of course, what we notice might be our internal thoughts or private experiences, as opposed to something more external, like a huge puddle that we’re about to step in.) The practice of mindfulness can provide some relief from this process. We notice sooner where our attention goes, and we notice its effect on our body, emotions, and behavior.

With reflection, we can change how we react.

With mindfulness practice, we can change that we react.

So, I invite you to explore the resources available on our website. Check out a local meditation sittings listed on our calendar (we endeavor to include ones that are not preachy or “guru-ish”). The present moment exists until we die. We can always check-in and notice our breathing, our thoughts, or the world around us. Why not start now?