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By Jenny Taitz, Psy.D. Are you crawling into 2012 with a new juice fast or gym membership? Often, around New Years, people will themselves to start yet another restrictive diet or rigorous fitness trend. The concept of starting anew feels meaningful and hopeful. I cheer loud and smile big when my patients’ feel excited about new potential methods of achieving the goals they choose. When we set goals, we also need to accept both others and ourselves. Tara Parker-Pope recently wrote an illuminating article in the New York Times on the struggle people face in trying to lose weight (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/01/magazine/tara-parker-pope-fat-trap.html?_r=1). The research she describes explains compassionately weight loss is not just about willpower. Your body may resist weight loss despite your most valiant efforts. Ms. Parker-Pope courageously recounts her own battle against her biological predisposition and shares data on the ubiquity of weight loss resistance. Just to be clear, I am not recommending you return your not-yet worn Lululemon outfit and spend the money on Michelin dining! You will improve your health by improving your habits. The matter to resolve is how you go about the process of moving toward your ambitions. Do you judge yourself a failure if you don’t reach a certain weight or accomplish a particular objective? People often feel tempted to define success in all-or-nothing terms and similarly judge others according to certain assumptions. For instance, you may assume someone who struggles with obesity lacks willpower or someone who is thin is happy. For a moment, consider, if you do engage in judgments, are they useful in helping you achieve your goals or connecting with others? In the service of increasing peace with yourself, in addition to any goals you may set, you might consider committing to pursuing your resolutions with mindfulness. 3 ways to befriend rather than battle yourself in 2012: 1. Notice judgments. Do you wish the process were easy and dwell on how unfair it feels? Wishing things were easier actually makes life harder. If you find yourself engaging in judgmental thinking, noticing this process is the first step towards stopping. 2. Focus on this moment. Instead of harping on what you did wrong yesterday or what you’re hoping for tomorrow, attend to what may be possible now. Reviewing in full detail what you ate yesterday won’t remove calories or curb your appetite. 3. Appreciate now. There is more to notice than your battle. We can pay a lot of attention to the things that upset us or we can shift our perspective toward the reality we may feel grateful for. Adopting a mindful stance towards our bodies may feel foreign and difficult. It also may feel like a weight has been instantly lifted--- I don’t know any other diet program that can promise that!

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By Jonathan Kaplan, Ph.D. Recently, a wonderful new book was released to help people suffering from anxiety. Authored by Drs. Susan Orsillo and Lizabeth Roemer, The Mindful Way Through Anxiety provides a systematic, mindfulness-based approach to the alleviation of anxiety and the promotion of values-based living. I highly recommend this book to my patients because of the many exercises and case examples. This book also reflects the research-based treatment that they've developed over the past several years. Recently, I was fortunate to have the opportunity to speak with Dr. Roemer. Here is an excerpt of our chat. What prompted you to write this book? After spending years developing this approach to treatment and training therapists in the approach, we wanted to bring the work we’d been doing directly to people with anxiety who we weren’t seeing therapy. We wanted to help more people experience the kinds of meaningful changes we were seeing our clients make and felt like we could write a book that would make a valuable contribution to the available self-help books. Why use mindfulness to address anxiety? Why would anyone want to become more aware of anxiety, fear, and other unpleasant emotions? An important thing about mindfulness is that it is a particular kind of awareness. It is an expanded awareness, not a narrow one. Most people with anxiety are too narrowly focused on things that are threatening or anxiety-provoking as opposed to their whole experience. Also, mindfulness involves an awareness with compassion as opposed to the very narrow, critical awareness that accompanies anxiety. Anxiety prompts people to be hyperaware of threat, which leads to avoidance. That avoidance interferes with learning new things as well as fully experiencing life. How is your treatment different than cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) alone? CBT is very effective for anxiety and our treatment is firmly grounded in cognitive-behavioral theory and practice. We started incorporating mindfulness because we thought it could enhance treatment effects for some people. By promoting acceptance, mindfulness allows people to relate differently to experiences that are not amenable to change. Ultimately however, technique isn’t as important as function. Our emphasis is on helping people relate differently to their symptoms of anxiety so that they can live their lives more fully. We think mindfulness allows us to accomplish this better with CBT. You include several meditations in your book and on the accompanying website. What do you say to folks who tell you that they can't meditate? If meditation was something that you could do easily, then you would have already done it! The point of the exercises is to cultivate this new skill of mindfulness, which can be learned through practice--just like any other skill. So, we work with many ways to cultivate this skill. Most people can find five minutes to sit and practice mindfulness. Setting some time outside of our lives to practice allows us to be better able to use it in our lives. We have also worked with people who practice doing everday activities, like brushing their teeth or folding laundry, with mindfulness instead of setting aside time to meditate. The book provides flexible suggestions of different ways to incorporate practice into your life. Given the topic on this blog--mindfulness in the city--do you find that folks in the city are more or less anxious than others? I treated anxiety for a long time in State College in Pennsylvania and now for a while in Boston. I find that people's lives are more complicated in the city. People encounter more real life barriers and stressors that naturally elicit anxiety, like the faster pace. And, relatedly, it's harder to be mindful. It's harder to naturally have the spaces and moments to come back to ourselves. We have to do that more intentionally. Is there anything else you'd like to add? Yes. I'd like to discuss the importance of engagement in life. An crucial part of the book--in addition to finding ways to be more open, expansive, and relate to experience differently--is to find meaningful experiences in life. Anxiety leads us to focus on whatever is threatening and avoid it. People avoid certain experiences in order to not feel anxious and that doesn't really work. An alternative is to cultivate skills of mindfulness and have anxious responses, but not react to them. And, then proceed to do the things that matter to us, like opening-up in a relationship, being present with your children, or advancing professionally. It's a way of responding to anxiety that is in the service of living a full life. What do you want to move towards that you haven't been moving towards becuase of your fears? Can you have your reactions and do what matters to you anyway? The book helps people to develop skills so that they can live their lives more fully.

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By Jonathan S. Kaplan, Ph.D. For the past couple months, I’ve been busily promoting my new book in interviews with radio stations, TV programs, and reporters across the country. One of the most frequently asked questions has been: How do people practice mindfulness when commuting? Indeed, this can be an incredibly frustrating and stressful experience for us. Though I’ve shared insights with various media sources (see this article on MSNBC, for example: De-stress Your Commute), I thought that I would compile some suggestions and offer them here. So, without further ado, here are the Top Ten Tips for Mindful Commuting (sorry in advance for the cross-posting). 10. Let go of trying to get anywhere fast. Traffic jams are characterized by the two very stressful psychological factors: (a) they are out of our control (i.e., we can't make the other cars disappear) and (b) they are unpredictable (i.e., we don't know when traffic will start moving smoothly again). So, rather than getting mired in worry about being late or cursing the other drivers, accept that you're going to spend some time in the car. You can't change the traffic, but you can change your attitude! 9. Plan to use your commuting time constructively. You know that you'll generally spend a certain amount of time commuting, so why not use it purposefully? Instead of distracting yourself with nonsense, decide ahead of time what you'll do during that time. Maybe you'll download and listen to some podcasts on mindfulness, create a mix tape, or listen to a college lecture. If you're riding public transportation, you can find some nice "subway only" reading or watch a movie on your phone. 8. If you're on public transportation, meditate on the physical feelings in your body. If you're standing on the bus, for example, you might notice how the muscles in your legs tense and release to help you maintain your balance. This is helpful because it provides an anchor for our thinking, which can be prone to ruminate on stressful or anxiety-related topics when it wanders. You might want to check out my YouTube video for a demonstration: Subway Meditation. 7. Mindfully notice whatever comes your way. Notice the colors of the cars around you, the faces of the people, and your thoughts and emotional reactions as they arise. Cultivate this ability to simple observe and pay attention your thoughts, emotions, and sensory experiences untainted by any judgments or criticisms. Notice what's going through your mind about the situation and how you respond emotionally and physically as you keep thinking about it. You might use this strategy if the traffic has completely stopped for a while. 6. Engage the people around you in pleasant and nice ways (yes, even if they're trying to get in front of your car). If you're driving, you might make space for other drivers to come in front of you. If you're on public transportation, you might offer your seat to someone else. This is helpful for a couple reasons. First, we stop taking things so personally. The hectic commute affects all of us, not just you. By recognizing that we're all experiencing something bad together, it can bring us closer to dealing with it constructively. It's the difference between thinking to yourself: "You're in my way!" vs. "This really sucks for us, doesn't it?" Second, it feels nicer for us to be nice, regardless of how other people act. If we're really honest, it doesn't feel good to be angry or annoyed all the time, does it? We might feel justified in having that reaction, but ultimately it is undermining our own physical and emotional health. 5. Focus your attention on some aspect of your environment. If you’re driving, you might try to find police cars, which involves being on the lookout for cars on the side of the road, vehicles around you (potentially unmarked), and flashing lights. If you’re using public transportation, you can spend a few minutes trying to notice whatever has the color purple. This exercise is not meant to make you paranoid, but rather prompt a playful re-engagement with your surroundings. 4. Breathe before you honk! Often when driving, we use the horn in anger as opposed to a simple “Toot! Look! I’m over here!” message. So, when you find yourself about to lean on the horn to let someone else have it, take a few moments to breathe deeply and notice the stress and anger that you’re holding in your body. Rationally, you know that blowing the horn is not going to make you feel any better, and it can actually create a more significant conflict with one of your fellow drivers. So, instead of venting or stifling it, observe how it manifests in your body. This can be incredibly difficult to do, but keep trying. 3. Just drive (or ride). When I was a teenager, I would drive simply for the sake of driving, feeling the burst of speed when pressing the accelarator, anticipating movement of the traffic, leaning into turns, etc. Sometimes, our efforts to distract ourselves while driving or riding can be problematic. Not surprisingly, research has shown that talking on the phone or texting while driving do increase the risk of accidents. At such times, we can passively listen to something (like the radio or even college lectures), but the act of generating a response takes too much of our attention away from driving. So, why not just drive? If you’re riding public transit, you can meditate a little bit (see #8 above). 2. Convert a normally stressful experience into a reminder to de-stress. In his delightful book Peace is Every Step, Thich Nhat Hanh describes using red lights as cue to notice our breathing. This can make the process of stopping and waiting more pleasurable, or at least an opportunity for practicing mindfulness. We can apply the same approach to times when we see brake lights or just waiting. Even noticing how the stress, frustration, and annoyance manifest in our body, mind, and heart can be an incredibly helpful--if not necessarily relaxing--experience. 1. Finally, if you’re looking for more tips like these, check out my book, Urban Mindfulness: Cultivating Peace, Presence, and Purpose in the Middle of It All. It has many practical suggestions and exercises for mindfulness when you’re on the go. And, it’s the perfect size for reading on the train. Just don’t read it when you’re driving though: mindful car crashing is not something you want to experience!

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admin — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 16:21:02 +0000

By Jennifer Egert, Ph.D. (after her retreat!) Two weeks ago, I came back from a 9-day intensive training in MBSR, Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, a program begun by Jon Kabat-Zinn in 1979 at the UMass Medical School in Worcester (link). And yes, ‘intensive’ is the right word! The first half was an immersion into the practice of mindfulness, working in a group of 108 participants, including two teachers, on mindful breathing, gentle yoga, mindful walking, mindful communicating, mindful eating… The second half was immersion into professional training, and what it is to teach MBSR. There is something about putting oneself in a situation of facing oneself 24 hours a day, 9 days in a row that yields invaluable insights but also can feel pretty unpeeled and raw. And returning in that state to the city with the sensory assault of horns blaring, the speed of the cars going by, the rattling of the trains and crowds sharing the sidewalk can be jarring. For me, it also raises the question as to why I have chosen to live in this kind of high intensity environment. Of course I know there are amazing aspects to city life. I wouldn’t be here if there weren’t. But it struck me hard this time. Maybe I had some idea that after 9 days, I would have achieved some amazing state, that I would have “arrived” someplace… not really sure where that place is. But I just arrived back home in NY, back to work, facing the pile of mail and messages. Sometimes people talk about mindfulness practice as if it were some "blissed-out state” or the ultimate in “positive thinking.” A puffy cloud to cradle weary heads and bodies. I think these ideas are what often bring people to meditation or yoga or other contemplative paths. It is what brought me initially. But as you practice, pretty soon you learn. That’s not it. At this moment, it seems to me that mindfulness is about facing things as they are with intention and clarity and an attitude of curiosity even if it is a taxi driver leaning hard on his horn because you are not mowing down the woman with the triple-wide stroller crossing the street (who, by the way, has the crossing light to her advantage). It is about facing our inevitable reactivity, confronting the sometimes tough stuff and uncovering our own unique truth... until it changes… as it always does… and then going with it. In Jon Kabat-Zinn’s (and Zorba the Greek’s) words, it is about embracing the “full catastrophe” of it all… the joy, the suffering, the 100+ emails, the frustration of the line at Trader Joe’s after work, the early signs of spring, a really great joke, the scary potential medical results, the new love blossoming, the argument from the morning, the washing of dishes, the old recipe, a great first chapter of a new book, the sneeze, the cold on your skin when you walk out the door in the morning, and the simple feeling of being tired at the end of a long day. It is all life. It isn’t always pretty, but hey, it is yours. Live it.

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For the next several days, I will be "unplugged" for the first time in over 3 years: no internet, no e-mail, and no voicemail. I'll share my reflections on the experience when I return.

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I didn't know what to do. I ended up doing nothing. This didn't feel very good to me, BUY Doxycycline cap. ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. I see myself as a person of action yet, this incident showed me that there are times when doing "the right thing" isn't always possible. I wanted to help the woman but I didn't have a clue as to how to do so. In the past, I actually have spoken to people who have wrongfully occupied those seats. Every time I have done so--no matter how diplomatic I have been--I have been the recipient of curses and hostility. BUY Doxycycline cap. ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, I was afraid that this would happen again.

I have asked myself if it is possible to look at this episode in a mindful way. This incident has taught me the importance of 'acceptance.' I need to accept that people often don't do "the right thing," including myself. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. Remembering this, I have concluded, is the first step to mindful wisdom.

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So, while we have little control over these powerful feelings when they do present themselves to us, we do have control over our awareness of them. While we may feel the need at times to contain our behavior, we can still practice our awareness of these feelings in the present, especially where and how we feel them, in particular in our bodies. We can notice how we relate to our feelings, whether we judge them, or push them away, argue with them, or allow them. Often the best we can do is to let them move through us, without resistance or judgment, and to explore how we experience to them. With that, I let go of the struggle and allow a few tears to roll down my face, waiting to get home for the good sob.