We just got a car. The old one got to the point where the garage guy said he thought he could get someone to haul it away for free, that’s how little it was worth. Now we have a shiny new hybrid. It’s so new we’re still calling it a name (Blue.)

We also just joined Costco, so we could get discounts on things we need for my wife’s Mom. That was one of our first trips in Blue. Nice easy drive getting there. No cars, pedestrians, or bikers to dodge. What a sweet trip. Then there was the parking lot. Maybe room for 500 cars. Maybe 30 or more circling the aisles looking for a spot. We make 31.

Now up to that time I’m feeling wonderful. Connected. One with all life, the sun shining on my face. Calm, peaceful, even equanimous. Certainlyl interconnected…. the wonder of it all!

But they wouldn’t let me just drive the aisles, looking for my parking space. No, people cut in front of me, people just stopped, blocking me. At the corners people went before it was their turn. Being a peaceful sort, I let them have their way…. no skin off my back.

But after awhile I began to feel like this is ridiculous, I deserve MY spot, why should THEY get all the spots ahead of me. I began using my head, plotting the best place to wait for a spot to open up. If someone was behind me…. not my problem! Then I saw an opening, and Blue leapt forward, ahead of another car, headed for a parking space. Rats, someone else got there first.

At this point I’m feeling a little foolish. Why am I letting all these bums get ahead of me. Am I the chump after all? Maybe I’m encouraging their bad behavior by not DOING something about it. (And it did feel good to get ahead of that guy back there.)

All I could see was cars getting ahead of me. All I could feel was the thrill of getting ahead, the fear of being the fool, the anger at them and myself.

Ahhhhhhhhhh, sweet forgetfulness, sweet upset…………. just another bell of mindfulness in the form of the real world.

I am mindful until I forget. I teach mindfulness with the humility of knowing my own thoughts, feelings and body sensations have a will of their own. I’d like always to be in control, but this is life in the city. I guess in an ideal world I’d remain like a Boddhisatva throughout, always calm, compassionate. But I live in this always-intruding city. Filled with pesky cars/bells of mindfulness. Hmmm…. is this good or bad? OK, I’d like to be the Boddhisatva, but also I treasure being really alive, being awake to my life. I can feel anger, but I don’t have to yell at anyone. Because I can feel anger I am open to all my feelings, including joy, and the rest. So nice to wake up in the city.